Marriage Celebration

Portland, OR :: My dear friend got married yesterday. I was so excited for her wedding and not just because I would get to wear a dress, boots and dance in a barn. I’m excited for her because these two wonderful people have found in each other a partnership and love that makes my heart swell. Ever since I got married to John I’ve been a big fan of marriage. A lot of my friends are weary of marriage these days. They want the public, committed relationship but “marriage” scares them. This is understandable since so many of our parents have not had successful marriages/relationships and the odds are against us. If I’ve learned two things about marriage they are: it takes a lot of work and humility. You have to work everyday and it’s not easy work, you have to remain humble while working so hard. I get excited when my friends are curious about marriage. I love to share my story. John and I don’t have the “perfect” marriage (what ever that is?), but we are working on our relationship and striving to have a strong and loving partnership for life.

On Friday I was honored to cut my friend’s hair, the day before her wedding. Normally this is something I would do with trembling hands. There is a lot of pressure on the bride to look “perfect.” But my experience was full of grace and encouragement. She and her husband are some of the least judging people I know, so if my not-professional haircut was not perfect, it was going to be forgiven. While I cut her hair she shared with me a story about her life partner. It was about putting others first, turning the other cheek and sacrifice. Her partner acts out loving one’s enemy daily and sometimes at the risk of his own life. He is not foolish, but he is willing to put himself out so that others may be protected, loved, fed, cared for, healed and acknowledged.

This sounds noble and admirable but it also sounds scary. What about the other person in the relationship? How do you commit your life to someone knowing that they will sacrifice coming home to you if it means they will protect their enemy? Many people expect that their spouse will fight their enemy to protect their home. It seems backward, but this kind of love is what has attracted the two of them together. For me it was a fresh reminder of the kind of love I desire for those around me.

We proceeded to talk about how important it is then to find sacred time with your partner, to serve them and put them before yourself. Again, work and humility. I hope John and I have a lot of life to live together. I think we can get closer to this – better at loving our neighbor, better at loving our enemy and better at loving each other. This next year will probably prove to be the most challenging and offering the most potential for these lessons. We’ll need prayers, encouragement and support from our friends and family.

I am thankful for intimate times like this with soul-friends.
It gives me hope and courage.
I am inspired.
Thank you.